The first day of school this year was truly momentous. Of course, at this age, it's always a big day, but our girls were particularly worried, as they started at a brand new school. With much sadness, we made the heavy decision to leave ISTP and begin at Santa Rita Elementary in our local neighborhood district. Keira took it especially hard, as she's leaving behind two years of familiarity, friends, and fun. In preparation for the transition, we tried tried to cast the change in a positive light -- "You'll get to know all the kids that live nearby! It'll be great to be able walk to school together! You'll love it, you'll see."

Ellie bought the story. Yet then again, it helped that she was entering kindergarten -- a major milestone to be celebrated. All summer, we received cheerful e-mails and flyers, attended happy playdates, and met excited families. Ellie also discovered that her newfound best friend, a little girl she met at YMCA camp, was going into kindergarten at Santa Rita, too! When they spotted each other at the playdate, they immediately ran into each other's arms, and the joy was tangible. Couldn't have asked for anything more fortuitous.

Keira, on the other hand, felt differently. On the night before the big First Day, she left this note posted on her door:

Can you hear my little heart breaking? Finding Keira curled up under her blanket, silently weeping, didn't help either. I could hardly hold back my own tears, but that's not what moms do. A good mama offers comfort, finds the right words to say, and inspires confidence. I certainly tried my best.

But inside? I was in agony.

I waited on pins and needles all throughout the next day, unable to stop replaying the image of Keira's anxious face as I cheerfully waved good-bye and she walked into the classroom.

Waited. Waited.

It was all I could do to keep my questions from tumbling out, trying to seem relaxed and not like an out-of-control interrogator over dinner. And you know what? Keira had a terrific day. She loved her teacher, was fascinated by the lessons, and told me that her classmates were nice.

I know about the dangers of helicopter parents. With my job, believe me, I know. That's not who I want to be. But as each year goes by, as my babies become part of an increasingly bigger and complex world, I find myself gaining a better appreciation for where that desire to hover comes from.

Ah, the heartaches and the bliss of being a parent.

Some time after I turned 25, I lost track of my age. Reaching the age after which I could rent a car without a surcharge -- that was my last notable milestone. And since then, as anyone who knows me will attest, asking my age usually elicits a wrinkled brow and frown, while I try to do the math, subtract my birth year from the current one, and come up with a number. More often than not, I'm unsurprisingly wrong with my answer. Oops!

It's not that I'm in denial; I'm not afraid of growing older. At least...I don't think I am. Age just doesn't seem like something worth remembering. I mean, aren't the experiences we recall more important than the year in which they happened? But then I find myself wondering. Unbeknownst to me, am I in the middle of a mental bell curve, somewhere between too-little-to-commit-anything-to-memory and too-old-to-make-anything-work-anymore? That notion is a bit scary.

Maybe that's why I have not yet quit my blog, despite the looooooong stretches of time between posts. As I'm sure is the case for so many others, this is another way for me to capture the moment -- click! -- before I zoom on past, sailing my way up the curve...or eventually, my way down.

So what do I remember? Well.........

Earliest memory. I think I am about two and a half. Maybe three. My mom takes me back to Taiwan to visit her family, and as we board the plane, the stewardess hands me a big envelope with all sorts of kid-friendly projects inside. There is the PanAm logo and a cartoon panda bear on the outside. Oh, and I get a shiny gold pair of wings to pin on my dress, too. (PanAm today? Long gone. Golden wings? Bryce just got his own pin over spring break.)

Elementary school. I fall off the pyramid in the tire playground and hit my chin. Terrified, I run back to the school, and through my tears, I can see all the other children fleeing away from bloody, messy me. Mom comes to pick me up, and I get into a shouting match with Tom over who gets to ride in the front seat. Big sister wins, little brother loses. I'm bleeding for Pete's sake! (Of course now, little bro Bryce usually pummels big sis Keira. Sigh...)

Middle school. Car ride with my best friend Elizabeth, and Tiffany's I Think We're Alone Now plays over and over and over and over and over and over.....

High school. Elizabeth and I are just itty bitty dorky freshmen, yet we somehow manage to get a ride home with a senior (and a boy, nonetheless!). We're giddy and giggly beyond the realm of normalcy. OMG.

College. I walk into Sweet Hall carrying two Jamba Juices. It's quite dim, which accentuates the glow of the many computer monitors. Row after row after row of guys programming, studying, snoozing. Finally, I see Felix and hand him his treat, hoping it will keep him going into the wee hours of the night. Feeling awkward among so many engineers, I hurry away.

Post-College. I'm constantly packing and unpacking, changing roommates, changing jobs, changing homes. Impatient and restless, I guess I'm "finding myself".

Marriage. On our mini-moon, Felix and I eat scrambled eggs with sundried tomatoes for the first time. Wow. That's....so good!

Kids. The floodgates open, and every day is something to try and remember because the babies-turn-toddlers-turn-children too quickly. The smell of their tiny heads and the sight of their wobbly bodies. The wriggly way they jump with joy and happiness. The hilarity of first words and, better yet, first jokes (so not funny that they're actually funny).

Perhaps someday, technology will allow me to download my mind, literally taking the jumbled mess of pictures and thoughts in my head and recording them for perpetuity. Or that might not ever happen, in which case I better make the most of what I have, while I have it, riding the curve towards whatever life experience comes next. Click!

Keira is often one of the first to wake up in our family. She hops out of bed, scurries to her window to open her shade, and gets ready to start her day. I've been lucky enough to come into her room to catch a glimpse of her standing there in her jammies, hand on the windowsill, watching the sunrise.

My Keira.

Then she picks a book from her shelf and curls up on the family room couch, reading quietly to herself while I putter in the kitchen and make breakfast. And when I look over and see her, I realize how much she's truly becoming a big girl. Watching her grow, learn, and blossom is truly amazing, and I love being a part of that process.

Most recently, we've ventured into note-writing. On the flight back East, the girls were getting rather cross, and I had a lightbulb moment. I would pass them a note! It was always a good way to keep myself entertained when I was bored at school (sorry, Mom). Perhaps it would work now, too.

It was a little challenging trying to remember how to fold the paper, but my efforts were worthwhile. The girls' faces lit up when I handed the notes across the aisle -- Ellie's with a tiny drawing instead, and Keira's with a brief message. We passed back and forth, and the final hour to the flight went by quickly.

The inspiration wasn't purely my own. Keira's actually been producing a flurry of writing over these last few months. She has an entire stack of tiny notebooks that she's constantly using to scribble comments, write stories, and jot ideas.

So what does she have to say? Well...
She helped Felix list out all the repairs that we need to do this spring. Toilet? Check. Took care of that today!

Keira makes other lists, too:
But my favorites, now that I've introduced her to the world of note-writing, are the little secret messages that she writes just for me:

My Keira.

I confess that I don't remember much about spring break as a kid. Did we go on family vacations? Veg out at home? Sleep in late or cavort in the yard? It seems so blurry.

Yet now, I look forward to spring break. I ponder the numerous ways in which we can spend time together as a family, the places where we can go, the things that we can do. This year was especially meaningful to me as I feel like our children are finally at an age when the break gains meaning for them, too.

We spent the first half in New Jersey visiting my parents. Keira, Ellie, and Bryce thoroughly enjoyed recapturing my childhood, from hiking around Schooley's Mountain Park to devouring Dairy Queen soft-serve on the banks of the local river. It was such a strange juxtaposition of past and present, bringing together my childhood with theirs. I pointed out the small nature center where I attended summer camp, and we stopped for snacks at the General Store where it has stood and operated since1830. I also got lost trying to find WalMart (wasn't there a forest there before?), exclaimed in surprise when we drove by "Bert the Eagle" (what happened to the Liberty Tree?!), and bought an ice cream cake from Cold Stone Creamery instead of Carvel (miss those chocolate crunchies...).

The second half of the trip was spent in Virginia and Washington, DC. We visited Elizabeth, and I must say -- it was a blast seeing our kids playing together! We also went to the Museum of Natural History (mama's favorite place) and the National Air and Space Museum (baba's favorite place). Keira in particular was fascinated by the capital and all its history. For example, as we walked by the Washington monument and the gathering crowd of Tea Party Tax Day protesters:

Keira: Mama, why are there so many people?

Me: Well, these people are here because they're unhappy and want the chance to complain.

K: Why?

M: It's kind of like when Mama tells you that you can't watch TV, and you really want to. So you're angry and decide to complain to Baba. Sometimes the government does things that make some people unhappy, and they want everyone to know that they're not happy. It's one of the great things about living in our country. We're very lucky because we can say whatever we want, whether it's good or bad. It doesn't mean that we get what we want, but we can always speak our minds.

K: (glancing at the protesters) They don't look very unhappy. I don't get it.

M: Well, just because you can talk about being unhappy doesn't mean that you get to throw a tantrum. If you're a troublemaker or get too angry, the police come and take you away. So you have the right to say anything, but not to get crazy.

Or after we visited the Vietnam Memorial and then saw Iwo Jima Memorial and Arlington Cemetary:

Keira: Mama! Those are so many dead people!

Ellie: Where? I don't see any dead people.

K: No, Ellie, they're under the ground.

E: What? What happened to them?

Me: Well, those people were soldiers. That means that they loved our country so much, that they fought for us, sometimes to keep us safe, and other times to protect our rights. But it's a very dangerous job, so a lot of times, soldiers die.

K: Do you think I should become a soldier when I grow up?

M: (pause) You know, baby, you can be whatever you want, and if you decide you want to be a solider, then Mama would be very proud of you. It would take a lot of courage and mean that you are very brave. I would be proud of that.

K: But do you want me to be one?

M: (longer pause) Umm...To be honest, sweetie, I love you so much that I'd be scared something would happen to you. It's dangerous being a soldier. So if it was up to me, I would keep you safe and not have you be a soldier. But if you wanted to do it, then of course, I would love you and be proud of you. You should be whatever you want to be.

So our first trip to DC? Pretty awesome, pretty profound, and definitely a place to which we will return in the future.

Of course, only time will tell whether the kids actually remember our little spring break excursions, or if their recollections will grow fuzzy over time as mine have. But as a parent? I can tell you that my memory is going strong, and I've already started planning ahead to next April. It'll be awesome, I know.

This is what I love about living in California. It's only March, but the sun is out, the skies are blue, and the kids are ready to roll.

Ahh...

Happy Chinese New Year! Shockingly, twelve years has flown by, and it's the Year of the Tiger again. However, to my dismay, I'm probably not going to be showered with good fortune or massive amounts of wealth. If anything, my mother warned me that I'd have to be extra careful. "Celebrating" your lunar year of birth is apparently rather unlucky. Bummer.

Regardless, not one to be dismayed, we roared into 2010 by helping our school participate in the annual San Francisco Chinese New Year Parade. It was quite an enormous affair, and our family worked intensely to prepare for the big day, devoting nearly every weekend to construction, rehearsals, and more.

The experience was exhausting, but ultimately, incredibly rewarding. It was something that brought our entire family together, as well as the ISTP community.

So Year of the Tiger? Bring it on! I have nothing to fear. Rawr...

Do any of you have the Flip camera? I recently bought it on a whim, and I am TOTALLY addicted. I love it. Love it. Love it.

And the results? Well, you need to see for yourself.

As I've often said before, I'm so grateful that my children have wonderful teachers and caregivers in their lives. I love my kids with all my heart, but I'm easily impatient and weary, distracted and busy. Full days together usually end up including some amount (ok, some significant amount) of television and computer games, once my creative energy runs dry.

So that's why I'm thrilled to have discovered geocaching. We have good friends who've been doing it for awhile, and when the girls began their restless, "I'm bored" rant, I finally decided to give it a try. After some searching online, we found a location not far from our home, and with only about 45 minutes before we had to pick up Bryce, we hit the road.

It was an awesome experience. The sunshine felt great, the girls were excited to pick wildflowers and exclaim over the many ladybugs wandering through the fields, and the thrill of finding "treasure" was simply fabulous.

Is this a new addiction? Quite possibly. But more importantly, as Keira beamed a big smile, she declared, "This is the most fun we've had together in forever."

I wholeheartedly agree.

Keira lost her first tooth! To her delight, it had been wiggling around for a few weeks, and she gleefully let people test how loose it was, all to her running commentary about what it felt like, when it might fall out, and how excited she was feeling.

This past Sunday was the big day. After having a banana snack, Keira came tearing out of the house, exclaiming that her tooth was gone! We hunted around the kitchen, but to her disappointment the actual tooth could not be found. I think she was somewhat sad yet somewhat fascinated by the thought that she probably swallowed the darn thing.

The next part was interesting. Keira leaned in and asked me in a small voice, "Mama, is the tooth fairy real? Or is it just you and Baba?" I hesitated for a moment, looking down into her curious face. I thought about all the myths we've already been struggling to maintain...and decided to tell her the truth.

"It's just us, Keira. There isn't a real tooth fairy."

"Oh, good! I'm excited to get my money."

Of course, I thought. That night, $1 later (happily stashed away in her piggy bank), Keira put on her pj's, carefully brushed her hair, and asked me to take a picture of her toothy grin.

Hooray! Our big girl is just a little bit bigger.

Happy new year! OK, so it's not exactly January 1st, but it's still January, right?! 2009 was pretty momentous for the Lin-Chi family. (Really? Was it?) Yes, it was! I'm so glad you asked.

I actually spent the last few weeks uploading all of our pictures -- ten years worth! -- to Picasa, and I must say that it was a fascinating trip down memory lane. From among the many different everyday experiences and unique occasions of last year, I decided to highlight four. Of course, if you want to see our nitty-gritty, up-close-and-personal lives in full detail, let me know, and I'll invite you to access our newly minted collection of photo albums. In the meantime...

We had our first live auction experience, attending ISTP's Gala and having an absolute blast. The gasps and cheers of the audience as the bidding went higher and higher was exhilarating! It was all for a good cause, too. As our point man, Tim did a terrific job and won us a Lin family trip to Mexico for 2010! But even if we hadn't won, I think it's pretty clear to see that it was an exciting, adrenaline-filled evening.

Spring break was spent in New Jersey with my parents in good ol' Long Valley. (No, they haven't retired yet. No, I have no idea when that's going to happen. Yes, I wish they would!) The kids love visiting Grandma and Grandpa Chi. The yard is huge -- perfect for running around, seeing deer, and climbing on rocks and dirt piles -- and I think that our children are fascinated by visiting our hometown and glimpsing what we were like as children, too. Some things are the same; my room still has the same girly furniture, wall posters, and tiny painted figurines that it's always had. Yet many other things have changed; I took the kids to my high school, hung out with Margret, and was blown away by how much the campus and buildings have transformed. Wow. We'd hardly boarded the plane before the kids started asking when we'd be back. Spring break 2010? Plans to head back East are already in the works.

Then my brother Tom and my now-sister-in-law Judith got married in the fall. Of course, it was a lovely celebration of their love for each other, but my kids conquered the day and made it their own. Bryce in particular was a rockstar. He told everyone that it was his birthday and accordingly blew out as many table candles as he could find. He danced like he owned the floor. And Tom and Judith rented a photobooth, of which Bryce took full advantage; he turned on the charm and convinced nearly every guest to scoop him up, take him into the booth, and include him in their picture. Ah, Bryce!

But perhaps the biggest news of all from this year is.....WE MOVED. After much wiffle-waffling (Move? Not move? Move? Not move?) and a wild house search (Where does that hatch lead? Is that...an unpermitted bomb shelter under the driveway?!), we made the big transition from San Jose to Los Altos. I love watching families walk their dogs and bike with their kids in the street, I love the peaceful quietude of the neighborhood, I love the tiny Sweet Shop just down the block, and I love the deep star-filled darkness of the night. Hopefully, we will live here forever and ever and ever, but one can never be completely sure.

All I can say for now is that 2009 was an awesome, exhausting, thrilling year, and 2010 is already shaping up to be even more amazing. Stay tuned...